Thursday, May 26, 2011

Take the high road after bullying

Interestingly, when you take the high road, it does not feel fulfilling at the time. Over time, however it does.
After we had solved my son's 18 months of daily torment, there was a strong desire to tell everyone in the community about it.  I chose not to.  I shared the facts if asked, but did not talk specifics in any way.

Ruining the reputations of the bullies does not help anyone.  If they have been served clear consequences and all behavior has ceased, be thankful and yes, move on.

About a year ago, after the torment was eliminated by transferring my child to another school, he thrived and was very happy.  While there are many more solutions to bullying than that particular solution, I was grateful that one worked.  At that time, I wanted to "warn" others of the bullies. I had a moment of clarity and realized, these kids have received real consequences from the school and some level of consequence from the parents.  I realized that this horrible episode was now complete. Continuing to stew would make me and my family bitter and unhappy.

So, a bit begrudgingly, I worked on forgiving the bullies and their families. A year later, it worked. I have fully forgiven all. Now, interestingly, the bully families may not appreciate it, because they felt I was harsh at the time. Unfortunately, I got pushed to being very clear and direct on the phone with several parents (always accurate, but very clear), so they may not care about me forgiving them. But, in the end, it is not about them, it is about me and myfamily.

Being free of the anger makes us all happier. Take the high road.

see for help with solving your bullying issue.


  1. Thank you - it does help to forgive. Even in the bible it says to forgive your enemies not 7 times but 70 times 7 times. Easier said than done though. My family has found it VERY hard to forgive with the extent of our daughter's injuries, but she was the one that stated "I will learn to forgive, but I don't have to forget and I can only hope that one day you will find it in your heart to apologize".

    She is mature beyond her years and is now doing everything she can to help others that have been in her situation.