Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Lasting Effects of Bullying; Dad takes Action

Lasting Effects of Bullying; Dad takes Action

The last bullying episode we had with our child was just about a year ago and things have been going along smoothly.  And then it happened.  Wham – we were hit in the head with some residual pain and long term unresolved issues. 

We were at a local restaurant when the bully’s family walked in.  Within a few minutes our child spotted them and got up, excused himself and went into the car.  I immediately recognized what had happened and discussed it with my husband.  In the book I discuss how my husband was not really onboard with what should have been done about the bullying itself but as time has gone on, he has recognized that the “kids will be kids stuff” really was much more than even he realized.   He now sees the lasting effects it has had on our child.

Dad (yes Dad) took action!

As we drove home my husband asked what had happened and gave our child some great guidance.  My husband said to our child not to run from situation, instead have the attitude that “you own the place”, hold your head high and be confident.  He even did a little role play with our child pretending it was the first day of school and the bully is there.  They discussed what to do and the positive, self-confident attitude he needs to exhibit.   

Observe your child; is he or she avoiding other children or adults?  Is your child different than before the bullying ever took place?  If so, it needs to be addressed with your child.

Just like the bullying incidences, do not ignore the residual effects of bullying.  Discuss it with your child, discuss action steps on what should happen (you own the place) and if necessary seek professional help from a medical doctor, social worker….  Do not let a bully take control of your child’s life even after the bullying has stopped.   They bully does not deserve to have any power over your child even after the bullying has stopped. 

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